Does anyone need to remind themselves about how much of a blessing our kids are? They are gifts that we are lucky to have, but sometimes....its hard. The last few days {to be honest the last couple of weeks} have been really rough for some reason. I have been yelling alot, the kids are crying alot, and things seem really chaotic! This is not how I want things to be here. I want to have that perfect happy home, where everything is in its place, and I am really there with my kids, not just in the room. I know that it cant be that way all the time and that sometimes things will be rough, but I really don't know what to do. It is so easy to assume that the lovely moms out there that blog are all such loving perfect and sweet tempered moms. I'm sure that this is true, and that they have issues too. I mean people think I am that perfect mom! Yikes! I am not that. I need to set my resolve to stop yelling. Easier said then done I assure you. I really just feel like things bubble up and I cant take anymore! Having Bug and Tadpole here is hard. 4 kids instead of 2 is hard. Pup isn't napping {if she does its because I lay down with her for at least an hour to put her to sleep} and she is wetting her pants all the time again {not full all over the floor wetting, just enough to make laundry!}. On top of that I am tired and Bunny seems rather clingy. Now I know that this list is just plain ol' complaining. Its not really that bad. Compared to some lives, mine is a walk in the park! What I really think is that it all boils down to me and my attitude. I need to change. I need to put on a smile even if I feel like crying, and I need to hug my kid when I feel like slapping. I need to really think before I act, and to plan ahead so I am not so spastic. I know part of what is going on is the jump back into school and babysitting. Its an adjustment for me and the kids. I need to take that into consideration. Their routine has changed and so things are feeling not right to them either.
What we need is a new rhythm. We need to have the expectations well laid out so that when we need to flexible everyone knows what they need to do. This is something that I forget about. How little changes can really affect the family and the way we do things. Just typing this out has really offered clarity and brought some peace. There are many times that things swirl around and around in my head and just having a place to get it all out helps me to see what I need to do. So I guess I need to really think hard about how we operate, then make some changes. One of the things that really needs to be attended to is the cooking. I need to plan it out so we have food that is good, healthier, and on time! :) I also have to work out the best way to do school time with the extra two we have here. Tadpole is a handful and like to be busy, but the other three need some attention too. When I do a circle time, I am half trying run after Tadpole and half trying to read. The results are less then wonderful. I think that if I can change these important first moments in the school room, the rest will go better. I will have to post up our new plan as I get it. What I need to keep in mind is my attitude! I can change and things can be better! God wants me to change and I know that he will help me do thins. It wont be easy, but it can be done! Wish me luck! Thanks for listening!
