Wednesday, November 9, 2011

No I'm not a perfect mommy!

I read a post the other day that really hit me as something that needs to be talked about .This post {which you should read here if you have a moment} was all about how homeschooling your kids cannot guarantee that they will be amazing, kind, perfect adults. They will make their own choices, follow their own paths, and live their own lives. Now we all know this, but sometimes its easy to get caught up in that idea that says, since we put so much love and energy into our kids, we can change how they turn out. WE cant. I was homeschooled all through my school years and I know quite a few homeschoolers that i met over the years. Now I don't know many of them personally, but if Facebook is anything to go by, they are no better or worse the most other people. On one hand this busts the whole socialization myth :) on the other it means we cant predetermine how our kids will turn out. This is something that I never want to hide from. Now this sounds rather depressing, but instead it filled me hope. I am not a perfect mommy. I love my kids like crazy and I do so much for them, but I am not always the most intentional parent and I yell. I hate these things about myself and I think that I am for sure ruining them. Here I am working so hard to prepare their environment so that they can learn and grow and reach everything they are meant to be, yet I yell and I don't take as much time as I should to be with them. Ugh. I want to be better. I want to make sure that I do everything I can to give my kids a happy life, but I cant control them. So all I can do is my best. My best to love them, to give them a peaceful home, and to guild their hearts to God. Yet it still guarantees nothing.
So what it boils down to is planting seeds. The bible tells us about the sower who sows seeds all over and how some of them fall on the ground, some on the path, some in the rich dirt. I know that Jesus is the sower,but we are his workers here in our home. So we are called by him to sow seeds. Seeds of Love, seeds of beauty, seeds of peace,  seeds of grace, seeds of understanding, seeds of forgiveness, seeds, and seeds of joy. However, sowing those seeds requires that we give them time. Everyone knows that a gardener doesn't just throw seeds down to get a good crop, he needs to water, weed, and carefully tend the ground in order to get the best results. Just so with our kids. We need to give them time. They need our careful tending when they are young, and they still need tending even as they grow! Our little plants grow fast, but there are still moments where they need us. Sometimes they need more care then at other time. If the sun is beating down on them relentlessly, then they may need water from us more then at others. Sometimes the weeds crop up and try to choke them out, and they need us to help them overcome. And sometime they are doing just fine and need to be left alone! This require so much observation on our end. Sometimes when kids ask us something really odd, there is something they are thinking about and they want us to talk with them. Sometimes they need a hug. Sometimes they want to be alone. Now I know my little kiddos are still really small, but I can already see the wisdom of letting them be when they need to be alone, and of letting them talk when they need to talk. Now just because I know doesn't mean I am always good at it. I tend to listen, while I'm on the computer, I tend to hug, but only at bed time, I want spend time with them, but I cant wait till they are all in bed! So what do I do to change? I apologize. I am not a perfect mommy, but then no one is.  We all have faults and so do our kids. We are all on a journey together and I hope that we can continue on that way!
I hope that this makes sence. It is alot of thoughts that have been swirling about in my head and I wanted to get them out! :) Thanks for stopping by and sharing thses thoughts with me! Happy Schooling!

1 comment:

  1. I loved this post from you. I've been thinking along these same lines, thanks for organizing this nicely in a post. I yell too and I can see how that relects on my girls behavior and I know this is something that I need to change.
    I've changed a lot buy there is still room for improvement !