Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Overwhelmed~ part 2

So in mt last post I really needed to think and I used my dear blog to help me do just that! It worked. I was able to see what was wrong and out of balance. What happened was that I was in a sort of weird competition with my husband. He works crazy hard for our family so that we can all have what we need, and I feel bad that all I do is be at home with the kids. Now I know that this is a noble and hard job too, but he is working 16 hour days in weather that is in the 100s with humidity to rival a rainforset. It just doesn't seem that I can do enough here that will even put me in the same league as him. So yesterday I thought that I would start tearing the house apart in an effort to work hard enough to be at the same level as him. Yes I know that this is the most ridiculous thing ever, but it was how I was feeling. All that this did was create a hell for me and my kids that just wasn't good for anyone. So now that I see the problem, I could fix it. So when I got home I talked to my hubbie (who thought I was a wee bit crazy) and now that I have the issue out in the open I feel better, freer. This brings up an issue that I really think is a big one for many people~ competition. It is deadly to a relationship. With me in competition with my husband, I was not being sympathetic to what he was living through (I was irritated when he wanted me to rub is back or take a nap), I wasnt interested in being with him (hey we were competing and who wants to be with someone you are trying to beat?), it was slowly poisoning our marriage. This is not just something that happens in marriages though. I have caught myself unconsciencsly competing with my friends and with family. Sometimes their kids are better at somethings, or they are thinner, sometimes they work harder or they have cleaner homes. It is something that can easily make a person bitter and mean toward people they know simply because they are in a race to be better. The craziest thing is that the other person, like my husband, has no idea that you are competing. :) So here is to not competing about things that dont need to be competed with! Here is to being a nicer happier person!

1 comment:

  1. Great post. I have had to: do less, even (gasp) care less, and always put me first or I am no good for anyone else. Perfection is only in ones head and there is no "Perfection Police" ( in my case "Montessori Police" watching over us. I often ask myself,"If I don't do this who is going to care?" The answer is usually "No one" in fact they don't even know about it or will notice it. Being overwhelmed can destroy relationships and I hope you can pull back and close down all the supposed "It should be this ways." that only exist in ones own mind.
    I love blogging, but one negative is seeing so many other people doing it better than me.
    Overachievers hate that! So just turn it off and say, " I am enough. I have enough. I am thankful". You are not alone. By the way, I lost my marriage and father of my two sons because of being overwhelmed. Take care.