Yesterday we went for a nature walk together, just me and the girls. It was wonderful and full of special little moments. One thing that really stuck out to me was something Pup said to me. She had given me a stick and I asked her what it was for. She told me she didn't know. So I asked her if it was to poke her with and I gently poked her back. She turned around, and with all the sternness of a two year old, told me
"No. You cant poke me, I am made by God. You have to be careful with me!"
Deary me it was too cute! But it also made me really think. Do I treat my kids with that kind of care? God made their little selves and do I respect them like that? How do my actions reflect the love of God to them? Not always so well I am afraid. There have been alot of moments of late that have made me cringe. So what does taking care look like? What is it that I should do when things are making me insane and I feel like screaming my head off?
I have been reading quite a few articles in the archives of In the Heart of my Home. Elizabeth is such a gifted writer and a gifted mother. She brings things down to a real level for moms in day to day life. And in my reading and reflection I realize that there are few main areas that need me to attend to now. One of those things is being able to grab at joy, even when there is no joy to see. As Elizabeth puts it to fight for the joy that lies just under the weight of the crosses. Faking it until I make it. I know that it is possible. I have experienced how a bad mood can disappear as soon as a friend walks through the door, or I am blessed with a timely phone call. All of a sudden the peace that was evading me shows up unexpectedly! I guess I never really thought about doing it on purpose! Faking it until I make it! Fake peace and joy when I feel like crying and screaming. Hmmm....its an interesting thought. What if I hold the crazy in and fake a smile when the little one pees in her pants after I told her to go potty not two minutes before. What if I change the criticizing tone of voice when a little one whines and declares that she just cant read that word and never will. What if I take a deep breath and sing along with the song that had been shouted through the house even though I want it to stop before I go mad! (I think you all see that ours is not a quite house). Maybe this will make our home a better, more loving, and peaceful space. I will try it out and see what happens. It may be just the right way of looking at things so that I can make some changes!